Did you know that, at one time, to adopt a child from South Korea you could not have a BMI of over 35? In Thailand it's the same. These agencies obviously want to reduce the risk of future health complications that could impact the parents' life expectancy and their physical ability to raise their child. In the U.S., there are no weight restrictions put on adoption applicants that I know of.
This raises an interesting question: Does being overweight/obese to the point that it affects your health make you less of a "good" parent? I know of many extremely effective parents who are overweight/obese. Yes, it's difficult for them to do physical things with their children, and yes, one might question the kind of example being set. But they're still great parents.
Maybe the more basic question has to do with the nature of weight gain and loss. Some insist that good health and weight loss is a choice. I don't necessarily disagree. But people do not always have full control over their weight. I see obese people at the gym all the time and have nothing but the greatest respect for them. Who am I to judge them? I do not know what it's like to be morbidly obese and so I do not know the challenges of losing an extreme amount of weight and keeping it off. For a long time I was overweight myself. I didn't take care of my body (the temple of the Holy Spirit) as I should have. But that didn't make me any less of a person or a Christian. It just doesn't help a person to lose weight by hating on themselves and beating themselves up because they are obese.
Perhaps what it boils down to stewardship. It's really hard for me to watch people completely sabotage their health. Almost anyone can find time to exercise. And probably very few people have a genuine physiological reason for their weight. But appearance isn't everything. And, like I said the other day, just because someone is fit doesn't mean they are healthy. As you know, I recently lost 50 pounds. But unless I knew you extremely well, I would never tell you to lose weight. Talk to anyone who struggles with an eating disorder or a food addiction and they will tell you that being obese feels like a destiny to them. I find it more inspiring to see someone who has accomplished something in spite of their weaknesses and shortcomings. I've been blessed with the fact that my weight came off relatively easily. Others I know are not so blessed. But while many struggle with their weight, they don't give up.
When I was a child I was bullied mercilessly because I was skinny. Much of it assumed I was either not aware of it or not taking care of myself. I spent hours agonizing over my appearance because of it. I found the judgment of other people to be really harmful and hurtful. Nowadays I have friends at the gym who say they are jealous of me and how fit I am. But they have no idea what a huge struggle it is for me to stay this way. I love food as much as the next person and I would eat all day long if I could. But I am gradually learning to respect my body too much to ever treat it the way I used to. Healthy eating is not easy and never has been. Thankfully, I love being active. And by the grace of God I have found a formula that works for me. Every person has to find a formula that works for them. At the end of the day, we all know what we see in the mirror. And it's largely up to us to change it if we can.
Weight loss is a deeply personal journey. I'm so grateful to be able to share my journey with you. Are you embarking on your own journey? Be patient and celebrate every small victory. Remember that the primary goal of any weight loss program is overall health and wellbeing, not a number on the scale.