I first memorized Psalm 139:23-24 in the King James Version (my first Bible). In verse 24 there's a Hebrew word that can be rendered in several different ways:
- KJV/ASV: "any wicked way in me"
- NIV/CSB: "any offensive way in me"
- ESV: "any grievous way in me"
- NASB: "any hurtful way in me"
The Living Bible has, "Point out anything you find in me that makes you sad."
The Hebrew says "a way of pain." But just who is experiencing the pain?
David could be referring to pain that he himself was experiencing. Or he could be referring to pain that he caused others to experience. But he could also have been referring to pain that he caused God, as it says in the Living Bible. I think David had in mind anything in his heart or life that grieves the heart of God. A similar idea is found in Eph. 4:30, where Paul warns us not to "bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit" (NIV). We are guilty of this whenever we do something that wounds God's holiness. Think of Noah's drunkenness. Or Moses' anger. Or David's affair. Or Jeremiah's self-pity. Or Abraham risking his wife's chastity for his own safety. The fact is, even those who are most used of God fall short of his holy expectations. They frequently miss them by a mile.
I am ashamed to say it, but the wrongs these people did aren't that different from the ones I ignore or rationalize away. I sometimes wish God would shrug off these things and not be so sensitive about right and wrong. But his holy standards are serious business with him. He proved it by sacrificing his only Son on my behalf. When I realize that my sin prompted such a sacrifice and that God feels pain when I hurt others -- or gloat, or bear grudges, or seek revenge, or fail to live up to his standards as a father or as a teacher -- I become weary of the daily battle of the Christian life. I'm tired of Satan's whispers. I'm tired of making excuses. Most of all, I'm tired of asking for forgiveness from the One I love the most.
It makes me want to cry out -- and really mean it -- "Come soon, Lord Jesus." I live in anticipation that it could happen tomorrow. Or, for that matter, today.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!