Do you believe the things people tell you about yourself? Do you believe the things you tell you about yourself? Today I stumbled upon this meme:
Any idiot can run a marathon. It takes a special kind of idiot to run an ultramarathon.
Now THAT's "encouraging" in light of my upcoming ultra. To say I'm filled with self doubt would be a gross understatement. Doubt starts as a whisper then grows louder and louder. "You are NOT good enough," I say to myself. "Why do you even try?"
As an educator, I don't think we're born with self doubt. It's something we learn. When I first started lifting, a guy at the gym laughed at me when I tried (and failed) to do a pull up. I felt foolish and defeated. I began to believe the naysayers. You stop standing up for yourself. You let the negativity mess with your head.
Self doubt can affect everything you do. I am not a strong enough lifter. I am not a fast enough runner. I am not a good enough teacher. I am a terrible parent. I'm too old. I'm not smart enough. Before we know it, our goose is cooked.
Thankfully, it doesn't have to be this way. No one HAS to operate out of self doubt. When I was in college, I dropped out of my first Greek class after only 3 weeks. I almost talked myself out of trying it again. Then I said, "Self, you are out of line. You don't know what you're talking about. God has called me to study Greek so of course I can do this." I kicked self doubt to the curb. The rest, as they say, is history.
All of us have some degree of healthy self doubt. That's why we need to learn how to filter not only what others are saying about us, but what we're saying about ourselves. Your biggest challenge in life isn't someone else. It's the voice inside you that shouts "You can't!" Nonsense. You can do ANYTHING God calls you to do. That's one of the reasons I do ultramarathons. They make me realize I'm stronger than I thought and can achieve things I never thought possible.
Will I succeed in my next ultra? I honestly don't know. There's always the chance of getting a DNF. But last place, first place, or no place, the point is that we tried. That we weren't afraid of failure. That we did what we said we were going to do.
If you don't believe in yourself, who will?