On paper, it's very simple. Yet most men struggle even to get started. And it's not because it's an extremely difficult task. It's not even because it takes such an immense amount of time. If I told you that you had to do something for the next 6 months or a year, even if you hated it and it was the hardest thing on earth, you could still probably end up doing it if you knew the other side was going to be as good as you hoped it would be. If you're not certain that you're going to get to the end goal and get the level of fitness you want, exercise becomes 100 times harder because there is no carrot on the stick to chase after. You will quit before you know it. And the reason is, subconsciously you have accepted it's not for you. It's not possible. You can't do it. And I'm telling you after 5 years of working out that this is your greatest roadblock. It's not the external. It's the internal.
Here's what you need to realize. Your brain is hardwired in a way that challenge is (or should be) normal. Pushing yourself into uncomfortable positions is normal. Feeling discomfort is normal. Why? Because this is how we actually grow as human beings. This is what builds your character and identity. This is how you stay fulfilled in life. All because you're constantly putting yourself into uncomfortable situations. In 1980, I graduated with my M.Div. from Talbot.
That fall Becky and I packed our bags and moved to Switzerland. The reason was because I wanted to do my doctorate in the theology department at the historic University of Basel. For years Becky and I had prayed about this. Should we do it? Could we do it? Could we even afford it? Would we be able to master German? Would we get hopelessly homesick? Could we adjust to Swiss culture?
Take just the expense involved. It would have been so easy for me to stay in Southern California and pursue a doctorate in New Testament at Fuller. Pasadena was only an hour's drive from our home in La Mirada. Becky was working fulltime as a nurse. I was teaching Greek at Biola. But once we arrived in Switzerland, neither of us would be allowed to work. Furthermore, before the police in Basel could grant us residency we would have to deposit over 30 thousand dollars in a Swiss bank account. Please keep in mind that the cost of living in Switzerland at the time was 4 times higher than the cost of living in Southern California. We were already comfortably situated. Why should we put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation? Why should we push our boundaries?
But that's exactly why we wanted to live in Basel!
We wanted our faith stretched. We craved the challenge. We desired the rich cross-cultural experience we knew we would have if we left the comfort and familiarity of the United States behind us for 3 years. (By the way, stagnation is probably one of the worst things you can experience as a man. If I gave you 10 million dollars right now and you didn't have to work a single day for the rest of your life and never have to push past your comfort in any manner, you would be miserable regardless of how many millions were in your bank account.) Through God's financial provision (Becky worked two jobs, I worked three), we were able to save up the required funds to live in Basel. These ended up being some of the best years of our lives. We LOVED our sojourn in this beautiful city on the Rhine.
We loved the Swiss friends we made.
We loved working with some of the greatest scholars in the world at the time. We loved the rigor and challenge of Basel's doctoral program. We loved not being forced to take courses or write term papers or take quizzes and exams or attend seminars. They put all their eggs in one basket -- your ability to produce a high quality dissertation and have it published. Then, once it was in print, you had to deliver 125 copies of the book to the university library -- at your expense- -- and they would grant you your degree. Challenging? Yessiree. Rewarding? Absolutely!
If you want to get in shape, you need to do what Becky and I did. You have to set a meaningful goal that is actually going to have a tangible outcome. You must want to get in shape. You must want to lose fat. You must be willing to struggle towards it. This is what makes the goal meaningful. Everything good you want in life -- a godly marriage, a great physique, a successful career, financial freedom -- all these things take consistent years of struggle to acquire. Take the man who becomes a respected scholar in his field. Do you think he just woke up one day and got it? Everyone says they want financial freedom. Freedom is earned through struggling for decades to build a life where you don't have to worry about your finances. Likewise, a healthy physique involves years of doing the exact same thing over and over again and consistently pushing yourself. Struggle is not the exception. Struggle is the core of this framework.
To summarize: living life means we have to have a meaningful goal with a tangible outcome. And you will need to struggle constantly to achieve it. When was the last time you actually had to put in consistent effort that was extremely difficult in order get a new reward? Probably not in a very long time. And that is precisely because your brain has lost the ability to tolerate discomfort or to even want to problem solve because there is no reason to. What I recommend to every single man out there is to face your challenges head on. Paul said, "It is through many tribulations that we must enter the kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22, NASB). No, I don't mean you need to David Goggins your way through life. You simply need to learn to face discomfort head on.
So ....
Go all in.
Be serious about change.
Get tough on yourself.
Man up.
Seek discomfort.