Friday, April 28, 2023

When We Still Grieve

Recently I was reading a book about grief and I thought to myself, How lovely is this conversation, how sensible. When my wife died almost 10 years ago, everyone said I should celebrate her life but at first I couldn't. I was sad, broken, and wore black (figuratively speaking) for a very long time because I had lost someone wonderful. If you have recently experienced loss and grief, at first your life will be diminished by it but in time it can be enhanced again. In the meantime, you will wonder if anything positive can come from your loss. May I say to you that it's alright to question that possibility. The book I was referring to above, The Empty Chair, puts it in these marvelous words:

God does not want us to forget our past. God does not want us to forget the good times, the hard times, the success, the mistakes. God does not ask that you forget that wonderful, at times conflictual relationship. The battle is over for your loved one. Death has come. Now you can experience his or her victory of a new life while constructing memories for yourself or your past life with your loved one. 

You will ALWAYS have a relationship with the one you lost. Yes, in time, you will forget your loss to a degree, but when you do you won't feel like you are betraying your loved one. You are learning to invest your emotional energy elsewhere and, of course, are looking forward to being reunited again someday. Even though the emotional pain never leaves, you will eventually be able to move on with your life. The pain will subside. Your grief will be infused with hope. And you will be drawn ever closer to the One who is Lord over every loss and every heartache. 

May that be your blessed experience today, my grieving friend.