I'm just coming out of Erik Erikson's seventh stage of life. He called it generativity. Generativity brings with it a renewed concern about the welfare of not only your current family but all the generations to come. For most of our adult lives, we men tend to devote a minimum amount of time to our family. We become more-or-less self-absorbed. The focus is on our creativity and productivity, on our own needs and satisfaction. Thus generativity does not come easily for many of us. It certainly won't come automatically. Your personal interests and goals still matter, but are now seen in the light of eternity. The word "family" takes on a whole new meaning.
I recently hired a professional genealogist to research my family tree back to John Miller of Sharpsburg and even further back to his ancestors who immigrated to the United States from the Rhineland-Palatinate region of Germany. My own belief is that it's helpful to know where one comes from and what shaped one's forebears. I can't wait for the day when I can take my grandkids to see John Miller's 1840s farmhouse on the Antietam Creek.
From there we would visit his brother David's farm, in whose famous "Cornfield" the great Battle of Antietam began in September of 1862.
All too often the elderly spend little time in reflection. We fail to meditate on the meaning of our experiences. Failing in that, we fail to see the people involved as well. I don't want to be guilty of that. People are more important than accomplishments. Relationships matter more than rituals. So much so that sometimes my eyes fill with tears.