I think it's interesting that both Chuck Swindoll and I left Southern California in the 1990s to begin new ministries. I went to SEBTS while Chuck became the fourth president of DTS. Now, neither one of us were unhappy where we had been. In fact, we loved being involved at Biola and at EV Free Fullerton respectively. But we both sensed that the time was right for a move, and so we went on to new opportunities.
After Chuck arrived on campus, the flavor of the seminary took on a completely new feel. He relates much of this in his excellent book Church Awakening. He concluded that the campus felt a bit too stiff-shirted. So he got rid of the tie rule. As he puts it, it was the only time during his tenure as president that he got a standing ovation from the student body. Then he did something about all the "Keep off the Grass" signs. He removed them. Families began picnicking on the lawns, while others played intramural flag football. Another change he made involved parking. He got rid all of the parking spaces that said "Reserved for ...." This included the one that said "Reserved for the President." The school's priority, he insisted, was not the administration but the people the administration served. I love that!
In 1998 Chuck went on to found Stonebriar Community Church. It's located in Frisco, north of Dallas. Becky's parents lived in Murphy, about 24 miles to the east. On my trips to visit mom and dad I would sometimes drive over to Frisco to attend one of the services at Stonebriar. Once I attended Howard Hendricks' funeral there as well. One of the things I noticed during the morning services was how formal everything seemed to be, from the coats and ties of the staff to the pipe organ to the full choir. At the same time, the people there seemed very informal and casual. I even saw some with a cup of coffee in their hands. That seemed like a disconnect to me until I heard Chuck tell a story in one of his messages. He felt the congregation should be more welcoming to strangers, so he had the "No Food or Drinks Permitted in the Sanctuary" signs removed. He said, "I don't want the first word visitors see to be the word "No'." Do you have such signs in your home? he asked. Point made. At Stonebriar, one senses this spirit of, well, GRACE, as soon as one enters the building. I know I do. Which brings up another story.
Occasionally I will train or have a race at a certain city in Virginia. If I'm there on a Sunday, I will always attend church. There are two churches I've visited, both fairly sizable. One is a denominational church. The other is a non-denominational congregation. The non-denominational church is one where people feel free to sip on their coffee or much on a donut during the service. Not so the other church. In addition, they apparently have a dress code. I found this out the hard way when I dressed a little too informally for their taste. Thankfully, that kind of church is rare these days. I grew up in a church in Hawaii that welcomed you whether you were a long-haired Jesus freak (like me) or a grunt from the nearby Marine Corps base who sported a crew cut and a suit and who grew up in L.A. (Lower Alabama). Know what? When we get older, we tend to judge others. "Look at him. He doesn't even know how to dress for church." Let's stop doing that. Let's make room for people who don't look or act like us. At my home church in Hawaii, nobody cared what you were wearing. You didn't have to look a certain away. The younger made room for the older. The older made room for the younger. Arms were always open to people of another generation or ethnicity. When I lived in Southern California I never did attend Calvary Chapel. But I have nothing but the greatest respect for Chuck Smith and the way he welcomed surfers and hippies through radical hospitality. He prioritized grace over rules. He famously washed their sandy feet at the door and invited the bare-footed and blue-jeaned inside. He allowed casual clothing that some church members judged. Thankfully, most didn't. The result was a loving community that focused on Jesus rather than on institutionalization. "We will love these kids and teach them God's word," he said.
You will never have a problem leading people to Jesus if you model that kind of grace.