Thursday, October 7, 2021

Jesus, Our Companion in Pain

In just three weeks we will be commemorating the home-going of Becky 8 years ago. Yes, I will always miss her. That is why I pause in Food Lion watching the young couple as they laugh and talk about what cut of meat to have for dinner that evening, because it was just yesterday that I was doing the exact same thing and I didn't realize the total perfection of that moment. I'm 100 percent against living in the past. I know this sounds pedantic, but courage means going forward even in the midst of pain. (Ask any marathoner.) 

Dear friends who are walking hard roads, I hope that through the years you've found something helpful about loss here on my blog. I don't love the same way any more. I can't. There is a new love, shot through with more realism and less clinging, reinforced with the deep realization that life without certainties is perhaps the best life after all because we are forced to lean hard on Jesus. Sometimes the God of miracles asks you to trust him when no miracles are to be found. When the answer is no. When he grants you the smallest of footholds as the waters are rushing all around you. What do you do? You stand there with your Companion in pain. 

My marriage wasn't perfect. But it was beautiful. There are no words to express to God how grateful I am for the 37 years we had together. She was incredible. 

Thank you, God. Thank you.