"Jesus wept." -- The apostle John.
These verses are not contradictory. Paul's not telling us to put on a happy face when things go wrong. Elsewhere he puts it this way: "As sorrowful, yet as always rejoicing." Jesus could weep but still be joyful. Joy is not defined by circumstances but by position ("rejoice in the Lord"). People experience pain for a reason. The loss of a spouse is bad. The loss of a baby is bad. Abuse is bad. Betrayal is bad. We know they are bad and we feel they are bad. But our belief in God's sovereignty gives us the security of knowing that God is in control. He is making our lives better (hopefully not bitter) through those circumstances.
My friend, if you end up being traumatized by something that has happened to you, there's nothing wrong with you. You are not abnormal. It was the event that was abnormal. You're not weird or unusual. This is the way of grief. Share your grief with others so that they may understand. Remember that Jesus promised, "I tell you the truth. You will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy" (John 16:20). Believe me when I say it: "Your days of sorrow will end" (Isa. 60:20).