Monday, September 5, 2022

Questioning God

Yesterday while driving to church I was all of the sudden on the receiving end of one of the most overwhelming experiences I've ever had. I never cease to be amazed by God. This month would have been my 46th wedding anniversary, and when I find myself adrift in self-pity, I know I can always go to God. 

You think I'd be getting used to this by now, no? After all, she's been gone for nearly 9 years. Maybe you can identify. Like me, maybe you're seeking answers to ultimate questions -- Why did I lose the most important person in my life? Why did God allow my divorce? Why did God give me a spouse who doesn't love me? Why does God allow me to be alone? Why did my baby die? Yesterday, as I asked God such questions, I had a deep, almost unique sense of his tender, sympathetic love. The Father, who has already given me everything in Christ, gave me still more in order that his child might be reminded: I will never leave you. You will never be alone. I will never give you more than you can handle. When life is hard, I will share your burden. I love you more than life itself.

He loves me, all of me, forever. Nothing else matters. Just think of it: a beggar sitting by the roadside holding up his cup and the King of all the earth gives him -- himself. It's an old, old story. And it's yours. Jesus Christ is our life. He is our joy. He is our daily bread. We are called close to his side and then sent forth to help complete the quota of his own sufferings. 

Out of the burned shell of a man, scared and scarred, has emerged life and peace and joy. Yesterday I saw that so clearly. I'm hoping it won't be the last time.